Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Friends

With some recent startling news, I have spent some time reflecting on myself as a friend to others. I am (of course in my own view) a pretty outgoing person, who has tentative moments when meeting people for the first time. I don't often meet people that I don't like, for the most part it happens after something has rubbed me the wrong way in their demeanor or actions and unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your view of the situation) I can rarely hide my feelings about those people.
The weird thing about me (of course in my own view) is that I am not a big socializer. I'd rather sit at home and watch tv with my kids and husband than go out with the girls, but I have been on a few 'outings' with my girlfriends! I have had exactly 3 friends since my husband and I got married that I have ever really confided things to, but I have lots of women who I really respect and love to be around. Most of the time, I really intend to call these women at one point or another and if I actually get around to doing it, I always enjoy when we spend time together (even though I felt like a tag along I had a great time with Justyn and Heidi when we went shopping for bags a couple of years ago) but that is just it! I can count on one hand the times I have actually called someone that was on my mind up and said, "Hey, let's go get lunch, or yogurt, or window shop or (fill in your own blank here)".
About a month ago, I called one of my friends, Alyssa to let her know that I needed to make a change in our trust and if she hadn't gotten her notary stamp yet to give me a call anytime she needed a notary since I had quite a bit of new free time and I had such a good time with her the last time we went to a meeting together and she said that no, she hadn't gotten her notary stamp and that she'd give me a call and we'd get together with our other friend Erin and have lunch again since it had been I think 6 months since the last lunch. You know.... the usual chat you have. And let me tell you, I love this girl Alyssa, she is smart and sweet and funny and I always wished she had met my brother in law before she met her husband (whole other story there!) For the last 3 weeks she has been on my mind A LOT! I mean I have thought about her at least once or twice a day and 4-5 days in the week and I have really meant to call her because obviously I need to etc....
To say you could have knocked me over with a feather when I got the call on Sunday night that she passed away the night before. Only 4 days after her 38th birthday would be a huge understatement. For the past couple of days I have walked around in a daze really kicking myself in the butt for not having called her when I obviously had been prompted to feeling like a big steaming pile of poo! (can I say that Alyssa would be the first to laugh at that analogy) It wasn't until I spoke to Erin that I started feeling a little better, but you should know (and if you are reading this I do mean you since like 4 people read this) I am so grateful for the pals I have and if any one of you needed me I would be there for you, and I promise if I get the prompting and you are on my mind - I won't be ignoring that one ever again..............

10 comments:

candace said...

i am so sorry about your friend. i am not so great at keeping in touch, but i am very grateful that we got to be friends while we lived in san diego. it was one of the best things of our time there. <3

Natalie said...

Oh honey, how absolutely rough. Come over, we'll hug and eat cookies and do whatever you need.

hEiDi said...

Gosh Ann, I am so sorry to hear about your friend! That is horrible! We need to talk! Hope you are doing ok. Love ya!

Camille Coffey said...

Like you I was totally shocked. It is such a sad thing. I know we have talked about getting together. Let's do it soon!!

*J*E*N* said...

It takes such horrible scares to remind us how fragile life is. Im so sorry to hear about your sweet friend.

Dan, Justyn, and Noah said...

I am so sorry about your friend, I hope all is well with you. I of course want you to know that you were definitely not a tag along; it was so much fun purse shopping with you & no you can't have my purse!!!

Nell said...

I can't stop thinking about it. I am really sad, not to mention shocked. I'm sorry Ann; I know you two we buds. I can't believe it. Can you let me know when the funeral is? Loves.

Shawn & Chelsea said...

Wow, sorry, isn't the spirit funny. Sometimes he needs to hit me with a brick before I realize he is talking. I know that she knows you were thinking about her. Vegas.(I guess it's reno next year)..next year...I will let you know. The boys plan it, but they should know really soon. I would love to hang out. :)

Christina Marie said...

Yeah, what a surprise. So sad! But it was good to see you, even though I feel kind of bad for not stopping to see how you've been and what you're up to these days. Anyway, I hope all is well with you and your family.

Katie said...

Ann you are a great friend. I'm glad to have you in my life.