With some recent startling news, I have spent some time reflecting on myself as a friend to others. I am (of course in my own view) a pretty outgoing person, who has tentative moments when meeting people for the first time. I don't often meet people that I don't like, for the most part it happens after something has rubbed me the wrong way in their demeanor or actions and unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your view of the situation) I can rarely hide my feelings about those people.
The weird thing about me (of course in my own view) is that I am not a big socializer. I'd rather sit at home and watch tv with my kids and husband than go out with the girls, but I have been on a few 'outings' with my girlfriends! I have had exactly 3 friends since my husband and I got married that I have ever really confided things to, but I have lots of women who I really respect and love to be around. Most of the time, I really intend to call these women at one point or another and if I actually get around to doing it, I always enjoy when we spend time together (even though I felt like a tag along I had a great time with Justyn and Heidi when we went shopping for bags a couple of years ago) but that is just it! I can count on one hand the times I have actually called someone that was on my mind up and said, "Hey, let's go get lunch, or yogurt, or window shop or (fill in your own blank here)".
About a month ago, I called one of my friends, Alyssa to let her know that I needed to make a change in our trust and if she hadn't gotten her notary stamp yet to give me a call anytime she needed a notary since I had quite a bit of new free time and I had such a good time with her the last time we went to a meeting together and she said that no, she hadn't gotten her notary stamp and that she'd give me a call and we'd get together with our other friend Erin and have lunch again since it had been I think 6 months since the last lunch. You know.... the usual chat you have. And let me tell you, I love this girl Alyssa, she is smart and sweet and funny and I always wished she had met my brother in law before she met her husband (whole other story there!) For the last 3 weeks she has been on my mind A LOT! I mean I have thought about her at least once or twice a day and 4-5 days in the week and I have really meant to call her because obviously I need to etc....
To say you could have knocked me over with a feather when I got the call on Sunday night that she passed away the night before. Only 4 days after her 38th birthday would be a huge understatement. For the past couple of days I have walked around in a daze really kicking myself in the butt for not having called her when I obviously had been prompted to feeling like a big steaming pile of poo! (can I say that Alyssa would be the first to laugh at that analogy) It wasn't until I spoke to Erin that I started feeling a little better, but you should know (and if you are reading this I do mean you since like 4 people read this) I am so grateful for the pals I have and if any one of you needed me I would be there for you, and I promise if I get the prompting and you are on my mind - I won't be ignoring that one ever again..............
10 comments:
i am so sorry about your friend. i am not so great at keeping in touch, but i am very grateful that we got to be friends while we lived in san diego. it was one of the best things of our time there. <3
Oh honey, how absolutely rough. Come over, we'll hug and eat cookies and do whatever you need.
Gosh Ann, I am so sorry to hear about your friend! That is horrible! We need to talk! Hope you are doing ok. Love ya!
Like you I was totally shocked. It is such a sad thing. I know we have talked about getting together. Let's do it soon!!
It takes such horrible scares to remind us how fragile life is. Im so sorry to hear about your sweet friend.
I am so sorry about your friend, I hope all is well with you. I of course want you to know that you were definitely not a tag along; it was so much fun purse shopping with you & no you can't have my purse!!!
I can't stop thinking about it. I am really sad, not to mention shocked. I'm sorry Ann; I know you two we buds. I can't believe it. Can you let me know when the funeral is? Loves.
Wow, sorry, isn't the spirit funny. Sometimes he needs to hit me with a brick before I realize he is talking. I know that she knows you were thinking about her. Vegas.(I guess it's reno next year)..next year...I will let you know. The boys plan it, but they should know really soon. I would love to hang out. :)
Yeah, what a surprise. So sad! But it was good to see you, even though I feel kind of bad for not stopping to see how you've been and what you're up to these days. Anyway, I hope all is well with you and your family.
Ann you are a great friend. I'm glad to have you in my life.
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